RSS Feed

I am healed. All is well. I am whole.

Posted on

I am healed. All is well. I no longer have Idiopathic Granulomatous Mastitis. If it weren’t for the long scar on my left ribcage, I can almost forget I ever had IGM. It seems so long ago and far away now. Another life. Isn’t it ironic that it took cutting out a part of my body to restore me to wholeness?

I said, “Bye-bye boob,” on February 4, 2014. It’s been a little over half a year, and I have recovered completely. After fourteen months of suffering, many of them in absolute agony, a scalpel brought relief. My body could not heal from IGM, but it healed beautifully from a mastectomy.

I have no pain. The mastectomy took it away immediately. As a matter of fact, I have no feeling where my boob once was. I have full range of motion, thanks to post-op physical therapy.

I have my life and my sanity back. I lost my mind for a few months, right before the surgery. I was literally out of my mind with pain. I was exhausted, weakened, almost defeated. I was so sick that I wanted somebody to put me out of my misery. I was ready to cut the damn boob off myself.

I have to admit that I’m glad a professional took care of cutting my boob off, because if I had done it myself, my scar would probably look awful. Do you want to know what surprises me? I like my scar. Aesthetically speaking, it’s lovely, smooth and slowly fading. I look in the mirror, and I see a beautiful, strong healthy body with one tiny breast and one scar. I do not miss my rogue boob.

I do not feel the need to hide my body, because I am not ashamed of how I look. I have an adhesive prosthetic boob, but I only wear it on special occasions. Most of the time, I just pull on a t-shirt and go. I have nothing to hide, and I really don’t think anybody is going to a) look, b) notice, or c) care. I feel comfortable in my body. It feels healthy and whole.

I love my mastectomy. It gave me my life back. I am healed. All is well. I am whole.

Advertisements

About A.K.

I am: dreamer, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, writer, reader, musician, artist, teacher, translator. I am a citizen of the world. These nations are my home: Denmark, Ecuador, USA, Canada, France and Germany. I believe the purpose of life is to love, laugh and learn. I am over being upset for getting this very rare disease: Idiopathic Granulomatous Mastitis. Forgetting all the pain and havoc is tempting, but I will honor the lessons it brought and release my resentment. This blog is my way of coping and reaching out to others who may be going through similarly unfair and bewildering experiences.

2 responses »

  1. I have not had the chance to read through all of your blogs to better understand everything you have gone through with this diagnosis of Granulomatous Mastitis, But I am very interested in talking with you about it. I am a 31 year old mother of 4. My maternal grandmother died of Breast Cancer after only 8 months, and my paternal Aunt and Cousin after a relapse. My own mother has massive breast issue and has for years. In April I found a large lump in my breast and through 2 separate pathologist it has been confirmed as Granulomatous Mastitis and necrotic tissue was found on biopsy. Right now my physician is sayind do nothing and leave it alone. I am on my 2nd round of antibiotics and cortical steriod treatments are not a good option for me since I have metabolic issues causing diabetes and hypertention. I am curious as to what specialist have been able to tell you about this disease. And Thank you for sharing your very personal story with all of us.

    Reply
    • Hi Sara,
      I am so sorry that you are going through this.I was sick for fourteen months before my mastectomy brought complete relief. My breast surgeon also took a wait-and-see-let’s leave-it-alone approach. Antibiotics did not help me at all, and cortical steroids reduced, but did not eliminate, the inflammation. They also caused metabolic issues and triggered a deep depression. The IGM was active the entire time. Draining the abscesses brought temporary relief, and I was on painkillers ranging from Tylenol to Gabapentin the entire time.
      Specialists have limited knowledge of this disease because it is so rare. The treatment options are: steroids and/or methotrexate, mastectomy, or leave it alone and hope it will burn itself out. Some women have pursued homeopathic and naturopathic treatments with varying degrees of success. From the very beginning, my primary care physician suggested a mastectomy as the best treatment option, but it took my breast surgeon almost a year to agree to cut the godforsaken boob off. All I can tell you is that I know that surgery was the best option for me. I hope this helps, and I hope you get well soon.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: